“Somehow, it feels like the time has stopped and my anxieties are taking over me. I am fighting, fighting hard not to give myself to the demons of anxiety. I know it sounds ridiculous but somehow I feel like going to that haunted area will help me find solace. It’s like something is calling me. Something has filled so much trepidation in me that I feel like going to that area without apprising anyone.

I need you to speak to me!.

Though I know these are only my anxieties playing tricks on my mind, but the vibes are so strong, or the anxiety is really taking over me.” – She went on with her daily chores like a robot while her mind kept screaming out to her.

While calendaring her upcoming appointments, her thoughts dragged her back to the same feelings.

“Regardless of what might that be, I need to hear you. I need to know that you are there. I need you to look at me. I need your eyes on me, everywhere I move. I need you to speak to me.

Suddenly her self-pity took over. “Will you ever speak to me?

Why I need to be so in contact with you? It’s like unarticulated trust that I have on you. No matter what the consequences will be, I will always be safe with you and you only.

It’s the humans that scare me.” – This thought made her shiver and she wondered, “Are they even humans?”

Busy in her hectic routine. Something just wasn’t letting her concentrate on her work at all, and her mind drifted back to the same thoughts and raised many questions. 

“What happens when one dies or leave this material world behind? What happens when you contact spiritual world, and that world responds back for real? Are there more worlds out there or in this very world? Are we real or the world of spirits?”

Every question brought her to more questions..

“What does it mean to connect to one’s soul or connecting to oneself? Does it really mean that we are connecting to our haunted self? Or connecting to spiritual world means really connecting to the spirits or jinn out there?”

She thought, ‘as per one of the spiritual speakers: “Our soul’s age is hundreds of years old.”’

That gave birth to even more questions in her chaotic mind.

“If our soul’s age is decades old, then what are we? Humans have always been interested in aliens and extraterrestrial or spiritual world & life. But if our soul is decades old then doesn’t that make us, humans, aliens?

When some spiritual beings set out to fearless explorations into the realm of ghosts, spirits etcetera and when they ink their occult insight – doesn’t that give one chills? Doesn’t it feel like someone has inked down all about you?”

While her physical self was working hard to keep up with this material world, her mind drifted farther and farther away – pushing her for answers robustly.

Every cell of her being was screaming to her for answers. Answers, which could solve herself for her. Her soul was not letting her rest. There was something missing. Missing from this life, from this whole existence, from this mortal world and that she must figure out but…

How?

“Is this body so important to keep that we brawl and brawl for it from the whole universe? Even when we know that eventually we will fail but still we affray like it’s this body, that will live forever while forgetting that in real it’s the soul or spirits or jinn who will live in perpetuity.”

That aroused more complexities in her unsettled soul.

“If the spirits/soul or jinn or ghosts are compelled to live forever, then what is the purpose of this life or everything that we are doing here? Does any of this matter? Work, family, friends, lovers, anything that we call adventure, travel, property – everything and anything that we practice in this life, what is it for then?”

She had an important meeting to attend, and her mind was exploding with all kinds of questions. During the meeting, she tried to shake all her thoughts away and concentrate on the meeting agenda. But she couldn’t shake the urge away to visit the haunted area upstairs and hear him whisper her name. Her demons were taking over her and somehow, she felt like she won’t be able to fight them. Somehow, she wishes to surrender to them. Somehow, surrendering to this moment, to this time, to ‘him’ felt like the ultimate resolution and made her feel at peace.

The half an hour meeting felt like it lasted for centuries. The manager seemed to be blabbing about something yet nothing. She thanked universe that no one tried to raise any query or asked for her input. As she knew that her mind was somewhere else.

On her way back, she thought of ditching her peers and going upstairs but she couldn’t. She made a mental note that she will visit that haunted area next morning for sure. Something didn’t let her sleep that night. She couldn’t tell if those were her own demons of anxieties or just the uncomfortable shared space.

Next morning, on her way to work, she was very excited and was looking forward to her visit. When she reached at work, to her surprise, that area was put in to use for to departmental operations.

“Could this be universe telling her not to go there? A strange fight between spirit realm and the real world.” she thought to herself. She somehow, made peace with the idea that it was all her anxieties playing tricks on her.

A few weeks later, she felt the pull again.

The urge to be contacted. The urge to speak to the unknown. The desire of soul to be touched by the soul.

“If my soul is decades old, could there be a possibility that my soul is searching for her final destiny? Could it be searching for its ultimate family? Could it be longing to be surrounded by its own kind? The pull my soul is feeling, could it be because it wishes to rest now? The whispers that it so dearly desires, are calling for her…

Could it be from the soulmate – the ultimate destiny?…

.

•